You Heart Will Bring You Back To Me
by jessinamaca
Summary: The truth is, when I’m without him, I feel like everything is going to fall apart. And next time, I won’t be able to pick up the pieces. Implied Dramione.


I did the worst thing anyone in my situation could do. I fell in love with him.

You want to know the sad truth of it all? I fell in love with him all by myself, and it wasn't because he was manipulating me. That's probably why it's so damn hard to shake these feelings I have for him. But I have to. Because we can never be together.

But sometimes, it's so hard to remind myself of that one fact. When I'm with him, it's as if the world falls away. When we're together, we are the only ones that exist. Our love is one that could move mountains. It's the kind of love you only read in books and fairytales. It's the stuff of legends. But the sad thing is that happy endings only happen in fairytales. We have our love, we have our hope, we have our dreams, but we will never have our happy ending.

The truth is, when I'm without him, I feel like everything is going to fall apart. And next time, I won't be able to pick up the pieces.

It's like being on a roller coaster. That's what love is like with him. Up and down, twists and turns, yelling, screaming, drama, drama, and a little more drama, and -- and passion. Loving him is exhausting and it's exhilarating. But worth every minute of it. Every second I spend with him is like a million years of happiness. But even happiness doesn't last forever. It goes away slowly, less and less of it everyday. Then, it disappears altogether. Then, all you have left is emptiness.

I try to tell myself that. Then I get around him, and my head shuts off. All those worries and doubts flee my mind, and I'm stuck with my heart. I can't think around him. I am unable to do everyday functions like walking and breathing. I get around him and I don't know the difference between right and wrong. My heart is screaming at me, telling me to go for it, while my head is faintly whispering the logical thing to do. The more I'm around him, the fainter the whisper gets. It becomes so bad; I can't hear it at all. And that's when I lose it.

That's when the slip ups happen.

It's not like he attempts to stop me. I kiss him and the whole world melts with me into his arms. He pulls me tighter against his body, and I can feel how we fit, just like pieces to a puzzle. And I realize that what I can have with my husband is like a candle compared to the bonfire I have with him. He's the flame, and I'm the moth. A moth attracted to the flame of sin.

He keeps telling me that I have to accept it. Accept our love. A love like ours is too great to be bottled up forever. And bottled up things never stay that way for long. Some day, it's going to overflow and come flooding out. Some part of me knows this and dreads it. The other wishes with all of itself that it would happen. If I could, I would go and shout it off the rooftops. I would post bulletins all over the city. I would show everyone in the world that I was in love with the most wonderful man in the world. But I can't.

I walk away from him every time. But as I walk away, he says the same thing. He says it softly, not knowing that I hear every word. But I hear it. And I tell myself over and over that it won't happen. What he says will not come true. But deep down, I know I'm lying to myself. I've lied to myself enough to know when it happens. I lie to myself everyday. But, I have to. It's the only way I won't go crazy.

No matter how hard I try to forget him. How hard I try to stay away, we're always drawn together. I'll be moving on with my life, and see him, look into his beautiful eyes, and my feelings come rushing back. As hard as I try, I can't do anything about it. I can't block out my heart forever. But I could try.

I will always wish him nothing but happiness, and I will always want the best for him. And no matter how much time passes, no matter how many slights we may feel from each other, there is a connection here, and it'll never be broken. I will never try to break it, as hard as it may get, it will always be there. A thin waver of light in a hopeless world. That's our love.

He's sees me as this perfect human being, but I'm anything but that. Sometimes, I just wish he would put away the rose colored classes and see me for the horrible human being I am. I should be with my husband, caring for him, loving him, but instead, I'm with him. And the worst thing is, when I'm with him, I forget all about my responsibilities. I feel like a free spirit, fluttering out in the wind. Then my head begins to speak louder and the whole reality of it all comes crashing down on me. And I lose the spirit and gain the responsibility back.

I used to have fantasies about us. We were together, married, with children. We would hold our children in our laps and read bedtime stories to them. Then we would tuck them in, and fall asleep next to each other. We would be the last thing we saw at night and the first thing we saw in the morning. The idea of waking up to him excited and entranced me. As did every aspect of him.

You want to know the truth? The truth is that I need him.

I need everything that he has. Everything that he is. Everything that he has to offer. His lips, his mouth, his eyes, his smile. The way he looks at me, like I'm the only thing he could ever love. The way he touches me, like I'm a delicate flower, needing to be watered. In his arms, everything is just and right in the world. There may be wars going on outside, but within me is peace. I would give anything to have that feeling all the time. I do love him. I do need him. I do want him. I can't have him.

I don't think I have or ever will want something more in my life. I want him with my body, my soul, with every breath I take. But we can't all have what we want. We have to look at what others need. As much as I hate to admit it, others need me more than I want him.

I'm the one who built this house of hopes and dreams, and it was a lovely house. It was warm, and it was inviting, and I built it for him. Because I knew in my heart that one day I would realize what I needed most and I would come home to find him waiting. But enchanted houses like that only look solid in the moonlight. And when the sun comes up, the harsh, true light of day shines through, and... you know, let me just say that I've realized that I may never come home. And the house... well, it isn't even there. It never was. We tell ourselves things just to get us through the day. But then something snaps, and we realize that we either have to make that dream come true or let it go entirely.

Well, something snapped tonight. I don't know if it was the fact that some woman was hanging onto his arms or the fact that it was someone I knew and loved. I went a little crazy. I took him by the hand and shoved him into the nearest room, closing and locking the door behind me. I ran up to him, kissing him with all the strength and force I have, hoping to make him forget about whoever he brought. It seemed to work, for he grabbed my waist and pulled me closer.

Then he pulled back.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because I love you. I love you, and I can't help it. And I don't care." He kissed me then, and I knew, somehow, we would find our happy ending. It was thrilling to realize that my wildest dreams would finally come true. And for the first time in five years. I was truly and unconditionally happy.

And I wasn't walking away. All those times I walked away, he would whisper the same thing every time.

_Your heart will bring you back to me._

And in the end, it did.

**So, what did you think? This is Hermione/Draco by the way. It doesn't say so, but they are my favorite couple, so what I sayu goes.**

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**Please?**


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